


if i should die before you do

by isshun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5k of word vomit, M/M, apocalypse!AU, lol what is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 11:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1687169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isshun/pseuds/isshun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They wait, until there's nothing else left in the world but them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if i should die before you do

**Author's Note:**

> wrote the first 3/4 quarters months ago, and in conjunction with kagehina week a miracle has occurred and this is the end product of that miracle, most unfortunately.

_._

 

_lay down, and come alive in all you’ve found, all you’re meant to be._

 

_#_

 

 

If anyone told Kageyama he’d be stranded in his own apartment, sitting in his couch while listening to the news through that old rickety vintage radio on the end table, he’d gladly laugh in their faces and ask if said person’s lost his marbles. No wait, this is the almighty Kageyama we’re talking about. He’d just throw a bucket of ‘em at that poor soul without a moment to lose.

Oh, also, bonus points for anyone who would have had the guts to tell him that 5’5 shortstuff Hinata Shouyo would be curled up by his side listening to the radio with him. Kageyama would also toss that guy some of those sanity pills he used to take every morning back when he had to deal with Hinata The Large Thorn Sticking Up His Ass.

But fast forward four years after high school, at their very last year of college, Kageyama has no choice but to eat his words and accept the fact that yes, a very still-a-pain-in-the-ass Hinata Shouyo is indeed pressed against his right side, head rested on his shoulder while listening to the radio in their very own apartment they saved to buy and live in together.

Oh, and apparently he likes this pain-in-the-ass Hinata after a leap through time. Kageyama would like to request for a check on the decisions he’s made in the past four years thank you very much.

_All public facilities are now closed and will only re-open upon further notice. All citizens are advised to stay indoors and don face masks and thick clothing to protect themselves from radioactive contamination. Evacuation-_

“Gee,” Hinata pipes from where he’s nestled in, “you think we’ll be okay?”

_-Evacuation notices will be announced should the government confirm the possible radioactive leaks happening. Should any person find themselves suffering from symptoms such as nausea or fever-_

Subconsciously, Kageyama’s hand finds its way to bright orange tresses and sifts through the soft curls absentmindedly.

“I don’t know.” he says quietly.

“But we’ll be together? Till the end?” Hopeful hazel eyes look up to meet with dark stormy ones. Kageyama doesn’t have answers for everything, but this one he does. So he lets the corners of his lips quirk up a little and leans forward to press a soft kiss against Hinata’s temple.

“Yeah, the very end.”

 

 

#

 

 

For once, life in Japan gets suspended in time for more than 24 hours, schools and colleges closed for as long as Kageyama can remember, but it sort of works in both Kageyama and Hinata’s favour because they haven’t been seeing much of each other ever since their final semester of college started. Between classes and the agony spent over researching over articles and articles and articles for their final year project, the little hours they have left to spend together are a novelty, and a full day staying in together is the equivalent of gold, a rare chance that has finally presented itself in front of their doorstep.

They laze around the apartment all day, completing overdue assignments in front of the television and replenishing their respective mugs of coffee and tea and stealing kisses from each other in the narrow cramped hallways.

It’s a bit insensitive to say that it took a growing global epidemic plaguing the world to finally let them have some time to themselves, Kageyama thinks, but as long as they’re careful and mindful enough to fulfill their daily vitamin intake, everything should be fine.

“Kageyama?”

“What?”

“Your rice is getting cold.”

Oh, right. Dinner. It’s nice to see that Hinata has not lost his appetite for healthy meals. There is this unsettling feeling churning in Kageyama’s stomach whenever he stares at the pre-packed dinner they bought at the convenience store down the street. His nerves get bundled up into messy knots and it takes him all he has to stay put and not aim the bento box at the nearest trash can.

“What’s wrong, Kageyama?” Hinata stands up from his seat and crosses over to where Kageyama sits to put a concerned hand over the raven-haired boy’s forehead. “You don’t seem to be running a fever.”

“Of course not,” said boy frowns, “I just-”

The phone ring cuts them off. Kageyama leaves Hinata in the dining room alone to pick up the phone before the line goes dead, but when he does he wishes he never had because as soon as he picks up his mother speaks in hushed, soft tones from the other end of the receiver, inquiring his well being and generally doing what mothers do best. It reminds him of home, a place he can’t return to now because the government has closed off all public transportation facilities to contain the epidemic all in one area and prevent the radioactive particles and resultant virus from spreading too far.

“I miss you,” she sniffs, before coughing uncontrollably into the receiver and whispering shakily, “do take good care of yourself, Tobio.”

Kageyama stills for a moment too long. He doesn’t respond even after the line goes dead and continues to stand there until Hinata comes up to him and looks up at him with big, worried eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asks, cold palms cupping the taller’s cheeks.

Kageyama still has Hinata. His spunky orange-haired boyfriend is still here with him. Hinata is still here, alive and healthy and that’s the most important of all. So Kageyama takes him into his arms and buries his face into messy orange curls in hopes that everything will be better again.

 

 

#

 

 

The government issues a notice for _all citizens to stay indoors_ a few days later, and everyone is given a week at most to stock up on supplies before the country completely shuts down and prepares to die a slow and painful death. When that fateful announcement letter sheet lands in their postbox, it ends up as origami paper in Hinata’s hands, folded into a paper airplane that pricks Kageyama in the face when the orange-haired brat throws it into the air.

“You’re not taking this seriously, aren’t you?” Kageyama, displeased, throws it back. It lands on the dining table, much to the satisfaction of Hinata who grins like the nation’s leaders aren’t the ones giving up on them and letting them die of radioactive poisoning.

“I’m gonna write letters, send them to everyone we know. Then at least a part of us will be with them when everyone dies. Who knows if it might end up in a museum a thousand years later post extinction!”

Kageyama huffs and plops down on the couch to tune in to the latest news about livid, raging mobs threatening to tear down Parliament and the Cabinet. It’s all very stupid, he thinks. This way the chances of contacting the airborne virus are higher, and more people would end up dead faster than usual should things play out on its natural course.

But maybe this is just Mother Earth’s other way of getting rid of them pesky humans. Launch a global epidemic from radioactive leak, and have armed demonstrations occupying the streets so people could die faster. Very practical.

“The postal service has probably stopped operating by now. You could just send everyone a text message before the phone line companies decide to go on strike too.” he tells Hinata who obviously isn’t listening, busy writing letters to people who will never receive them anyway.

Just then, as Japan Radio prepares to release the Prime Minister’s latest political statement, something sharp pricks him at the back of the head. Kageyama turns around to glare at his roommate, but his glare mellows into a softer expression when he sees what’s written on one wing of the paper airplane.

_I love you._

It’s been a while since they engaged in sentimental activities like this, so Kageyama plays along, scribbles those three words too as a reply and sends it back flying across the room to Hinata. They go back and forth like this for a while, the paper airplane a messenger of their unspoken love for each other until Hinata cracks under pressure and slumps into his chair sullenly, cheery facade slipping away to reveal a defeated expression.

“Natsu fell sick, the doctor thinks she’s not going to make it.” he says quietly.

“Hinata…” Kageyama stands up from the couch and crosses the room to hold a sad, quiet Hinata in his arms. “You wanna visit her?”

“Ma said I shouldn’t, said I’d die too if all of us came close to each other.”

“I’m so sorry.” Hinata says nothing in reply and buries himself in strong arms. They hold onto each other like that for the rest of the day, even in bed when night has fallen and the world’s asleep again. It’s a thought too painful to bear when one’s most loved and cherished kin leaves without a single farewell, and when Kageyama thinks of how much longer they have to endure this and the bleak possibility of them coming out alive, he suddenly can’t breathe.

It’s not even two weeks since the alarms were sounded but they’ve already lost half the war with the number of casualties piling up in hospitals and dirty, vomit-stenched streets.

It feels like hell.

And everything feels infinitely worse when the small voice at the back of his head reminds him that this is only the start of the real thing, the beginning of the end.

 

 

#

 

 

The entire week flashes past, leaving in-patients dying left and right and angry mobs perishing up and down in its dusty wake. Everything contributes to the ever-rising death toll looming over the world, and soon Kageyama gets so sick of listening to the same old news repeating over and over again like a broken record he switches the damned radio off and leaves it to gather dust in the corner and rot away in neglect.

“Ukai-san just called,” Hinata’s head pops out from the bedroom, cellphone in hand. His hair is a mess but his face is worse, tear stains streaked across his flushed cheeks and his nose all red and blotchy. Today marks the first day he’s gotten out of bed (and mourning) ever since his mother called four days ago to break the news of Natsu’s passing to them.

“What did he say?”

“He says he’s got all the stuff in the store saved for the team. We should hurry and get them before some angry mobs decide to trash the place and steal the supplies.”

“Okay,” Kageyama stands up to get his jacket, but he stops midway and turns around to regard the tiny boy standing by the doorway cautiously, like any wrong phrase could set them on fire and cause the delicate balance in their relationship to explode in their faces.

“You wanna come along?”

Hinata sniffs. A small smile graces his lips and suddenly, the atmosphere feels a hundred times lighter and the room brighter than it used to be for the past two weeks.

“Yeah, I want to see everyone again. Just give me five minutes.”

The streets are empty when they finally step out into the world again after two weeks. The mobs are gone, all flames of silly hope and passionate cries of justice extinguished and crushed six feet under. The world has finally entered a state of desolation where everyone has gone home to wait to die.

Kageyama holds Hinata close to him so he can remember that he is not alone. They have each other. And that’s enough, and always will be.

 

 

#

 

 

They come back with bags full of canned food and basic necessities like toilet paper to prepare themselves until everything withers away. It was a tearful goodbye for everyone, nobody said anything about the impending doom looming over their heads and in an act of momentary courage, Tanaka proposed The World’s Greatest Farewell Toast that got Hinata and a few other low-alcohol-tolerance people going tipsy in ten seconds flat.

_“_ _Kageyamaaaaaaa -hic! We’re -hic- hoooooooomeeee!!”_

Ugh. Stupid Tanaka. Stupid Hinata. They could’ve gotten juice instead of heavy alcohol for a change. He had to make sure Hinata didn’t lose any valuable goods on the way home even though his own arms were already full with four months’ worth of supplies.

Placing the bags on the kitchen counter, Kageyama heaves an extremely tipsy Hinata across the living room and pushes him into the bathroom.

_“_ _Ooooooooh -hic- Kage -hic- yama, you so nastyyyy -hic! Taking advantage of -hic- a drunk kid like meeeeee!!”_ Hinata leers from the shower stall, grinning like the idiot he is.

“Ugh Hinata, please clean yourself up while I sort out the groceries. This isn’t the time to fool around you idiot.”

But Hinata always surprises him at the most unexpected times. The orange-haired spiker may be short in stature, but his speed and strength exceeds normal standards. Suddenly, Kageyama finds himself pressed against the door, heavy weight pinning him into place to stop him from taking another step away.

“Don’t go,” Hinata breathes into Kageyama’s sweater, arms tightening around his waist.

“Hinata-”

“Stay with me, please?”

Oh god, how to refuse Hinata when the tiny boy pulls out his trump card? Sappy Hinata is Kageyama’s weak spot, his achilles heel; whenever Hinata does something sentimental it drags Kageyama down a quicksand of indescribable emotions and he always ends up giving in to the orangehead’s frustratingly disgusting (yet simultaneously cotton candy kawaii) whims and requests.

“Okay,” he replies softly, stroking the crown of Hinata’s head like how one would pet their most beloved puppy, “I’m here. I’ll always be here, so go sober up while I brush my teeth.”

Hinata looks up at him with big, watery eyes and gives him that stupid pout he always hated.

“But can’t we shower together?”

The idea is extremely tempting, they haven’t done it for years, but Kageyama thinks about Ukai’s advice about energy conservation and how it’d help in saving more food and instantly rejects the notion of having shower sex in the middle of a global crisis.

“Don’t push it, idiot.” he pushes the clingy orangehead into the shower stall again and crosses his arms. “Now stop whining and start showering.”

 

 

#

 

 

The death toll escalates at an alarming rate for the next few days. Acute radioactive poisoning is everywhere, and Kageyama is only thankful enough that the TV stations have declared a strike so he wouldn’t have to see the gory images of reporters vomiting their guts out halfway through a live broadcast on the electronic screen. The radio is enough, words alone are powerful enough to pack a punch across his gut that sends him reeling in pain.

The days pass by in a blur. There is nothing much that they can do while cooped at home on a restraining order. There is no place for them to run, no safe haven to go to. Having a game of volleyball anywhere in the middle of an epidemic is pure suicide so they play board games until the neverending rounds grate on his nerves, and there is only so much card games can do to relieve his boredom. Soon, the internet will stop functioning, and when all human workforce has stopped, it’s only a matter of time before the electricity gets cut. And the water supply too. But Kageyama’s prepared for the last one, they’ve stored enough water to last them for a few months as long as they use it sparingly only when necessary.

This is how she dies, Mother Earth. The people give up, pack their bags and wait for death in their little cages of hopelessness and silence. The symptoms start with the head, mental pressure creating loopholes for the radioactive-particles-turned-virus to attack, and when it does it infects the stomach and bowels first to create tsunami waves of nausea that has people throwing up everywhere every single moment. The bleeding comes two weeks later when the nausea recedes, and that’s the signal of the end of the road, the final stop before the brain shuts down and the heart stops pumping oxygenated blood throughout the body.

It’s all a gradual process of decomposition that breaks down human life until the very last mitochondrion stops respiring. Urban decay, apathetic decadence, inevitable death.

And sometimes, when Kageyama can’t sleep at night, he watches Hinata (still so tiny, so innocent) drift off into slumber in his arms and wonders about a lot of things. Like the identity of his birthday gift he’ll never know and receive that one time they fought and Hinata threw it straight into the garbage chute, or that one time he knew Hinata lied straight to his face about where he went the night before but was never told the reason behind that white lie.

He also thinks of other things, like when exactly the apocalypse would just call it quits, move aside and let the sun shine again, or why the government isn’t doing better damage control to help them find a safe place to survive. They’ve been abandoned. Millions and billions of people are dying in Japan and around the world. Nothing can change this fact, but the thought that there used to be hope and trust in the individuals empowered to save them still irks him sometimes.

But, he also thinks about other stuff far more serious than stupid things like apocalypses and questionable acts of the government. Sometimes, he wonders, if anyone of them both caught the radioactive poisoning, who would be the first one to go?

 

 

#

 

 

 

The answer to his late-night ponderings manifests itself into being a week later when he wakes up to a ball of burning heat in his arms.

“Hinata? Oi, Hinata!” he tries to shake said boy awake. But a sleeping Hinata is a man dead to the world. Cooped with the fact that he is ill, it would take a miracle to shake him awake so Kageyama can assess the damage done and decide the best course of action in this situation.

He tries to lower the temperature by giving Hinata an ice pack, but all efforts prove to be futile when Hinata wakes up the next morning sluggishly, only to rush towards the washroom and puke his guts out into the toilet bowl the instant he bolts up from the bed.

The ever-growing sense of dread gnaws at Kageyama’s bones. This time, nothing feels right. When Hinata crawls out of the bathroom wheezing, body twitching as a reflex from all the gagging and retching, Kageyama can only hold him in his arms and help him take slow sips of water to replenish his fluids.

Shit, it’d better be food poisoning. Food poisoning is self-limiting, but radioactive poisoning is not.

In the end, at Hinata’s insistence, they make a trip to the hospital for a diagnosis, but every ward, every single bed is full and some patients have to even sleep on the couch. The doctors are no better, everyone looks dead, soulless eyes never even casting a slight glance of acknowledgement at the duo who just walked in ten minutes ago. There is no way of differentiating doctors from patients, because everyone looks dead. Maybe they are dead. Maybe this is the zombie apocalypse Tanaka was always blabbering about, empty bullet shells rising from the dead to haunt to living realm.

Nobody attends to them. The registration counter is empty, and after another twenty minutes spent standing in the middle of a dying crowd waiting for nothing, Hinata tugs on Kageyama’s sleeve to get his attention.

“You should go back,” Hinata says quietly, voice muffled from the face mask covering almost half his face.

“Don’t be stupid. If you’re not going back, I’m not either.”

“But the longer you stay, the higher the chances of you dying.” Stupid Hinata gives him this worried look like it only matters that Kageyama survives without Hinata by his side, and the former wants to punch something because they’ve decided a long time ago that they’ll be together until the very end.

“We’re all gonna die anyway, dumbass.”

Kageyama decides that if they’re going to die they will die in their apartment, so after a moment of silence for the dying and the dead stuck in this fateful building, they walk back to their home and wait for nothing and for everything (miracles) to happen.

“Let’s go back together,” Kageyama says, taking Hinata’s hands into his so he can lead them on the way home.

It’s all an extremely unpleasant scene when they step back out into the streets. The air reeks of death and radioactive waste, deadly particles floating around in the air waiting to invade the body of the next unfortunate soul. Kageyama holds Hinata close to him, as if any spare distance that comes between them would take Hinata away from him any time. He’s lost many things along the course of his pathetic life, but Hinata is someone he cannot afford to lose. To him, Hinata is the clear definition between the blurry edges of hope and desolation, so if Kageyama loses him it would mean the end of his very own sanity as well.

But the stupid brat doesn’t seem to share Kageyama’s sentiments. Halfway through the journey home, the shorter drifts further away from the tight grip around his shoulders, but years of training and honing his athletic reflexes allowed Kageyama to pull him back before he joins the crew embarking on the path of no return.

“Oi!”

Hinata looks away, avoiding eye contact with Kageyama like the stony glares laser-shooting out of the latter’s eyes were the plague. Hinata, who always liked his stormy grey eyes and demanded eye contact during conversations as a sign of respect and politeness, who believes cheesy crap Kageyama hates like ‘a person’s eyes are the windows to their soul’ - the thought of him unable to return Kageyama’s gaze is extremely upsetting and Kageyama doesn’t know which effect of this entire event is worse - Hinata’s demise or their relationship that is starting to crack at the edges like hard pebbles thrown at thin fragile glass.

“Hinata-” he tries to placate the orangehead when they reach home but all the latter does is run to the bedroom and slam the door shut.

The loud click that follows right after is what breaks his heart and leaves him feeling empty and defeated for the rest of the day.

 

 

#

 

 

 

Somewhere between him dozing off and generally being inattentive to his surroundings, Kageyama wakes up from the couch a few hours later, neck stiff and aching and sore from the uncomfortable position he dozed off in.

The evening sun peeks behind closed curtains. It feels like ten thousand years have passed.

And maybe it really has, because it is much too quiet, too eerily silent for a house with two noisy occupants busy creating chaos every day. But Kageyama can’t really pinpoint what exactly is suddenly missing from the core of this household, not until he reaches for a bottle of water and realises that the sound of constant retching from the bathroom has disappeared.

No.

He’s never run so fast in his life before, pounding on the bedroom door desperately until he discovers that the door is unlocked. There is no time to dwell on figuring out strange occurrences. Kageyama runs past the empty bedroom and reaches out for the bathroom doorknob, ready for any scene behind the door, but what he isn’t ready for when he flings the door open is an empty bathroom void of human presence.

“H-Hinata?”

The only thing that he receives in return are echoes bouncing off tiled walls.

Empty bedroom. Empty bathroom.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s going on, and it takes Kageyama less than a fraction of a second before he storms out of the house, following the trail of sweat drops leading further and further away from home, stopping completely in front of the elevator.

Fuck.

It’s always stupid Hinata doing stupid things, writing stupid things, being stupid in general, and Kageyama always has to clean after his stupid shit every single damned time. Why is he always stuck with insensible bastards whose brains seem to have more of a decorative purpose than proper mental functions?

“Stupid, stupid Hinata,” he curses under his breath.

Twelve floors beneath, the horrible stench and humidity hits him in the face when the elevator doors slide open. But Kageyama has no time to comment on this, Hinata is gone since god knows how many hours ago, and Kageyama can only blame himself for falling asleep and failing to keep an eye on the brat when he had the chance to.

The streets are so empty, where could Hinata have gone? It would take him at least a day to travel back to his parents’ by foot, and the setting sun doesn’t exactly provide optimal conditions to travel far when the city goes lights out. There is nowhere Hinata Shouyo can go, which is why it frightens Kageyama because without a solid destination in mind, the orangehead could go anywhere.

“Hinata?! Hinata Shouyo!”

The more he runs, the more lost he feels. The city has never felt more foreign to him than ever.

And it seems like an eon has flown past because dusk comes too soon. It shuts out the much-needed light until his shadows disappear, like they’ve grown another pair of legs of their own and walked away to leave him alone in the search for a missing short orange-haired kid.

The streets are filled with puddles of disgusting puke and there is absolutely no way of differentiating Hinata’s from the rest, considering digested lunch that gets regurgitated is nothing but brownish-yellow fluids with a tinge of blood. Kageyama feels like giving up, legs aching from running too much and heart beating erratically against his ribcage, screaming in despair and he almost does, until he notices a heap of orange and black crumpled against the wall in a dark alley.

“Hinata!”

“Kagey-”

“YOU LITTLE SHIT-”

“DON’T COME ANY CLOSER.”

“What?!”

“You’ll die! You’ll fucking die!”

Hinata, despite sinking deeper and deeper into death’s embrace, stands and takes two steps back while Kageyama takes four forward. It’s upsetting to see him lost in a house of desperation and despair, all traces of his iconic positivity and optimistism flushed down the toilet along with his vomit. Kageyama wants him to come back, wants to lead him out of that maze of confusion so they can go home and exist for as long as they can until the end of time, _together._

So, amidst the frantic shouts of _‘fucking airborne disease’_ and _‘you have to fucking live’_ , Kageyama takes in a deep breath, inhales as much lethal radioactive particles as he can in a suicidal attempt and lets out a string of angry words to shut the sick boy up.

“You fucking idiot! Don’t go around deciding things for me! I choose what I want, and I want to stay with you whether you like it or not,” he bellows, and then, on a softer tone, he whispers, “we promised.”

But Hinata still hesitates, afraid. Years and years of spending every single moment together has enabled Kageyama to perfect the art of understanding Hinata Shouyo, and he knows the latter can never be alone. Hinata craves for hugs and kisses to know that things will always be okay, he seeks for large, warm hands in times of loneliness and grey solitude, and Kageyama cannot bear the thought of the short boy withering away on the streets, alone and cold, all to save him from the inevitable possibly happening any second of any day.

So, he sighs, extending his arms in front of him, empty space between them enough to fill the world with a thousand Hinatas full of Kageyama’s love to the brim. These arms are home, they are strong enough to carry them across these hard times and shield them from the biting cold. And Kageyama has nothing else to offer little Hinata aside from this - his heart, a home, and the promise that they will always be together.

“You don’t have to die alone, so come back with me.”

It’s enough. When Hinata staggers forward and falls into his arms minutes later in a quiet sobbing mess, Kageyama holds him close and lays out all the unspoken words between them for the dying boy to see.

_I_ _love you._

_It’s going to be okay._

_I am here._

 

 

#

 

 

 

The thing Kageyama has learnt about apocalypses and global epidemics is this: the cracks start from outside, the airborne disease wanders around before knocking on doors to invade homes (sometimes not knocking at all) and slowly, with the invasion of lethal air particles into the cracks, things fall apart.

They shower together that night, nothing sensual or anything, just Kageyama helping Hinata to scrub away the dirt and horrible stench from his hair and supporting him whenever he accidentally dozes off. And when they’re done, Kageyama pats him dry gently and dresses him in thick, warm clothing. But once the symptoms work up and the puking enters into full mode, Kageyama finds himself thrown out of the bedroom once more.

He knows Hinata didn’t mean it. Didn’t mean to throw him out so forcefully like that. Kageyama allows himself to drop onto the couch and assures himself that Hinata did not throw him out of his life. He avoids staring at the wallpaper that is starting to peel around the edges and switches on the television. The ceiling cracks scare him.

When night falls and there is simply no more time to waste by watching static channels on the barely functioning television, Kageyama tries his luck and knocks on the door softly. He’s had enough of listening to the orangehead retch into the toilet bowl every now and then that he really wants to make sure that his roommate isn’t lying on the bathroom floor unconscious and dying away.

“Hinata.” The house is so eerily quiet it gives him the chills.

“Open the door, Hinata.” he tries again, voice slightly firmer this time.

And it works. The doorknob twists and unlocks and Hinata stands by the doorframe, pale face twisted with guilt and sadness it simply hurts too much for Kageyama to look at.

But then he thinks, yes, the cracks are there, things will fall apart, but ultimately it’s up to them to fix the cracks and glue the pieces back together so they can continue to live and love again for as long as they can.

“Let’s sleep. I’m tired.” is all he says before dragging the shorter towards the bed.

The long suffering days of agony can wait, worrying about the future can wait, but this - collapsing on wrinkly white sheets together in a heap and holding onto each other while they’re both still here - can’t. The tighter Kageyama holds Hinata in his arms, the closer Hinata shifts and curls into him, head tucked safely beneath Kageyama’s chin and their legs tangled together like intertwining vines.

“I’m probably going to kill you.” Hinata’s voice comes out all muffled and defeated, but Kageyama waves it away by pressing his lips against the crown of Hinata’s head and buries his face into soft orange curls just so he can take a whiff of that lemongrass scent he always liked again.

He thinks of bright smiles and orange sunlight behind closed eyes. He imagines them back in high school again, standing on volleyball courts shoulder to shoulder, side by side, so brave yet naive and ready to take the world on together. There is nothing greater than that.

“Idiot,” he murmurs, “you already do, every single day.”

From the very beginning, till the very end.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> the title of the fic is taken from Richard Brautigan's poem 'If I Should Die Before You Do'. kagehina is loooove but sadly love doesn't last all the time u___u this was hard to write especially at some parts so it kind of... sucks. but thanks anyway for reading!


End file.
